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Some days are filled with fragmented energy: my attention is pulled in many directions and lacks the clear focus and interior motivation necessary to complete the tasks at hand. Perhaps it’s the fickleness of the weather or the simple fact that I’m daydreaming of the near future when I will take a break from my office and go on retreat. It is a challenge for me to keep both feet planted in the now and not run towards a time that is not yet here. The irony is that once I arrive at the retreat center, part of my time will be spent settling into the quiet and letting go of the work I left behind. The quiet is often disrupted as I laugh at myself and recall that no matter the location, I am who I am. Time passes in the same way; the difference is the means at which I move through it.

I believe what I’m describing is a universal experience. Most of us feel anticipation as we get closer to vacations and get-togethers without realizing it can overshadow the present day and appreciation of the gifts it offers.

There are lessons in distraction. Sometimes distractions can serve as light to the deeper questions in my life easily overlooked in everyday busyness—why am I distracted? What does distraction teach? We are taught from an early age to be productive, but what if the pathway to greater understanding is to accept and immerse ourselves in the times of interference; to welcome discovery of the creativity that can surface when we ask a different question of ourselves. There are times in discernment where distraction will be part of the journey; when the idea of exploring a back road to see what is out there rather than continuing on the well-worn highway may lead to insight. Perspective is gained when we allow room for newness of the experience to unfold and evolve over time.

And perhaps it is the influence of the Holy Spirit that gifts us with days of distraction so that ultimately we settle into the present.

Where did you experience diversion in your discernment?

What did you find within it?

Every year, a cycle of radical busyness invades my life. I brace for it and always persevere. Strategy is embedded in the pages of my calendar and I make defensive moves to try to protect time for silence, creativity, fun and rest in addition to ever-present action. It is easy to be consumed by all of the good things ministry and life offer. 

Perhaps it is divine providence that, just as I am experiencing this annual tug of war with my calendar, Martha and Mary arise in the Gospel reading (Luke 10:38-42). Recall for a moment the familiar story: Martha is busy and Mary appears idle. Mary is praised while Martha is chided. I don’t know about you, but this story has played itself out dozens of times in my life. The script for me goes something like this: I am running around from place to place accomplishing what I see are priorities while so-and-so puts up her feet and relaxes, appearing not to have a care in the world. Jealousy wins, I lose, and the scenario frequently repeats itself. Yet there are times when I’m like Mary and choose to slow down, spend time in contemplation, while someone else is running around looking at me as Martha surely did. 

Image courtesy freeimages.com

The challenge is integration of both active life and of contemplative life. This happens for me when I’m working on something and I realize I need a break to refocus, or when I’m praying in Mary of the Angels Chapel and a new idea will suddenly occur to me. 

Discernment of religious life takes balance too. Discernment in action — gathering information, visiting communities and meeting with sisters — takes (and should take) a considerable amount of time and can feel like the most important part of the journey. But discernment in contemplation — praying for wisdom and direction, asking yourself what you are most searching for — is equally essential. It takes (and should take) ample time to sit in contemplation and consider what is in front of you.

This week I invite you to ponder… are both action and contemplation present as you think about your decision? 

Are you balancing these essential components for the discernment of religious life in your calendar?

*Do you know someone experiencing discernment of religious life? We invite you to share this link, www.fspa.org/showmeasign, and join the conversation.

Sometimes we are like spring: indecisive and moody. In one moment calm breezes and blinding sunshine soak into our winter-weary bones. In the next, peals of lightning and ear-splitting thunder rumble through as rain pelts blossoming flowers and awaiting garden plots. I’m overwhelmed by scents of pungent earth, pollen-producing flowers and trees. It is a season when our renewed senses merge as if on cue from some distant stage director for the grandest play opening on the world stage.

Each new bud of life offers a gentle invitation to reflect on the ways in which we are all called into renewed being this Easter Season.

As I take in the beauty of the beginning of the daylilies in the yard, I am reminded of Jesus’ message to depend on our God who presents the flowers as teachers who don’t “toil or spin.” This, for me, is the essence of not only spring but of discernment—trust in God’s providence and stillness of heart. Discerning religious life can’t be rushed for the risk of impulsive decisions possibly destined for regret. The process must take time to unfold. We do not need to funnel our tornadic drive to get things done to the abundance of springtime storms; in the atmosphere inherently unstable. There are moments, in the lengthening light of evening, meant for sitting on the front porch and taking in the greening world around us. There is room for both unpredictability and overwhelming beauty to coexist. It is a time full of discovery and awe.

St. Rose Convent in spring (photo by Nancy Chapman)

As you ponder your own growth in this season of your discernment, take time to celebrate the new life that is emerging.

Where do you see roots taking firmer hold?

What new shoots of life are visible to you now?